Monday, September 06, 2004 @11:25 PM
My Final Note....(good bye)...
One final note for one final sin
I've yearned for peace to my whits end
My pencil burns through my papers
My last goodbyes to family and friends
My soul screams for one more chance
Don't do it...your life must have some relevance
Uncontrollable tears pour from my eyes
I want to quit, myself i despise
Forcing unwanted smiles day in and out
No more drive or hunger, my pain is devout
I only have myself to blame
My despair controlls me, it can't be tamed
No one notices my cries for help
I open my mouth, but no one hears my yells
The more i try, the further my regression
I can't escape this state of depression
A soul that was once happy and free
Feels trapped inside a box of misery
Darkness falls, the walls cave in
Death is the only solution my mind will comprehend
Memories suddenly flutter my mind
I wish i could rewind the hands of time
But lingering above, there's only one solution
There's only one way to defeat my confusion
My mind says my time here is due
Nothing to fight for, nothing to lose
Time to leave behind the tears
Time to avoid my ultimate fears
I regret the times i've wasted
My appologies for all the lives i've complicated
To those i've hurt, i beg forgiveness
To those i've loved, i wish smiles infiniteness
Don't shed any tears for me
Now my soul can finally fly free
Please remember me with fun and laughter
As i now end my "happily ever after".
⥠you and i both loved
@11:20 AM
Waiting For Her
Been hurt so many times
Cant count on fingers and toes
But still I sacrifice my heart
For something nobody knows
Asking myself when and who
Sometimes even asking why
My heart has to be broken
Causing tears to flow from my eye
A girl too perfect to be true
For right now she is far away
Unconsciously wanting and waiting for her
Until she comes on that special day
Her intellectual wit
Far beyond that of mine
Her amazing personality
Is more than a sign
A heart tender and loving
Looking for something like never before
Beauty from the angels
Leaving me wanting nothing more
Thoughts of us together
I cant stop thinking about
Thinking of something new and pure
Something that we couldnt ever doubt
So early in this situation
But feeling like eternity
Hoping you feel the same way
About what we will come to be
As I wait here for you
Knowing you will be here soon
I cant stop thinking of you and I
Laying outside gazing at the beauty of the stars and the moon
Wanting for our lips
To mend the wounds of the past
Now all the pain before is healed
For two in love in a moment that will last
I hope I am no disappointment
To you when we meet
And I wish that it will be you
As my princess is how I will treat.
⥠you and i both loved
Saturday, September 04, 2004 @11:36 PM
I hate and at the same time love you more and more
each and every day
this is what i think of you
as on my bed i lay
you said you'd always love me
you said you'd always care
i suppose that was another lie
because your never, ever there
last year you loved me
and i loved you too
all summer i kept that love..
so what happened to you?
yeah, i skrewed up alot
but cant i have another try?
but thats not what you thought
and thats what made me cry
i was too scared..
so i let you go
but i regret so greatly..
its left me so low
and now its september,
we meet again
often i think of you,
once and again..
i pass in the halls
and you dont even see
i just want your love
the love just for me..
the love i once knew
but now has passed on
the love that i crave
the love that is gone
so now i am going
i'll try to let go
and i'll try to forget
all the times you said no
when you said no i dont like him
no i dont care
no i dont want to
no im not gonna be there
so goodbye forever
i hope one day you'll see
if you wouldn't of said no
you coulda had me..
⥠you and i both loved
@10:54 PM
My Departure
If I die before I wake
All my things I hope you take
I hope you like what you find
And put a picture of me in the back of your mind
All I had was never enough
After a while it was just pointless stuff
Material things I had too much of
One thing missing, a thing called love
Felt as if I was trapped in a cage
My body engulfed with a fearless rage
Thoughts of life and death would pass through my head
Feeling as if no one cared what I said
There are things we all need
Maybe next time for them no one will bleed
Take my life with my death as a lesson
And make sure you ask GOD for his blessing
⥠you and i both loved
Thursday, September 02, 2004 @11:36 PM
Death Is My Only Way Out....
Why am I here on this wackass Earth?
I dont know why GOD made it true to my birth
All I do is mess up and disappoint my parents and friends
I dont know why but it seems like I aint got no sense
I dont want to live anymore
Soon Ill be up above at the golden doors
Whats the point for me to be alive?
It seems like no reason for me to survive
Why is my life so fucked up?
Why cant I be anything more than a chump?
Im growing up trying to be my Dad
But when something goes wrong its always my bad
I wish and dream that things would go for the good
But the way things happen isnt the way they should
Why am I one to be punished?
As if I was one to never have my religion replenished.
⥠you and i both loved